We never thought we would ever write a book together. But as time passed and we continued to hear from women who for various reasons were reluctant to lead or who sought information and advice on leadership, we reached the conclusion it was time to speak up, recount our experiences and share the lessons we have learned, in the hope that we would encourage other women to find the nerve to step up and lead.
Drawing upon our wealth of experience, we review the similarities and disparities in our respective childhoods, educational backgrounds, early career decisions and serendipitous events we believe helped prepare us to lead. In addition, we address the significant challenges, as well as the highs and lows, women leaders face on a day-to-day basis. Finally, we recount the experiences we have had in redefining the purpose of our life after stepping down from our leadership positions. Focusing on the three aspects of the leadership journey—what comes before leading, what comes with leading and what comes after leading—we share our personal stories and outline the lessons learned as we navigated our careers as women leaders, revealing along the way the decisions, attitudes and experiences that female leaders frequently encounter, as well as the personal characteristics common to women in leadership roles.
Throughout this conversation, we conclude that, for women, there is a common thread connecting these three phases of leadership: nerve—developing your nerve to lead, drawing upon your nerve when leading, and finding the nerve to reinvent yourself when you no longer are leading. Nerve: the personal attribute that we believe is not only required to lead but is often missing in women, even in those who aspire to lead. Nerve to be true to yourself, nerve to take a path less traveled, nerve to go first, nerve to act decisively, nerve to redefine yourself. Women are good at most things: we know how to work hard, we often overprepare for whatever task we are performing, we are proficient at collaboration, consultation and compromise—all important traits of leadership. But if there is one characteristic that we must actively work on developing and consciously draw upon as we chart our course as leaders, it is nerve. Not easy, not obvious, not immediately part of our repertoire.