With his newfound vampire powers and his girlfriend Chloe, Nigel Mullet is finally happy and popular as the school year begins. But then a new guy, Jason, appears at school. All the girls think he’s better looking than Nigel. He’s definitely stronger and faster than Nigel. And he’s just stolen Nigel’s girlfriend. What’s a totally lame vampire to do?
Write bad poetry, get regularly beaten up by his little sister now that he's too weak to retaliate, and spy on his ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend. . . . Eventually Nigel follows Jason and his family to the park in the middle of the night and is stunned to see them all transform into werewolves.
Will the truth win Chloe back? Or will Nigel be left howling at the moon in frustration?
Prince of Dorkness WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 31 School starts again tomorrow. It will be the first time I’ve seen my true love Chloe in two weeks, as she’s been on holiday with her parents in Greece. She invited me to go with them, but I was worried the sun would hurt my skin. Plus, I didn’t want all those mosquitoes sucking my blood. Which is rather hypocritical, I know.