The Misadventures of Max Crumbly 1
1. MY SECRET LIFE AS A SUPERHERO ZERO
If I had SUPERPOWERS, life in middle school wouldn’t be quite so CRUDDY.
Hey, I’d NEVER miss the stupid bus again, because I’d just FLY to school! . . .
AWESOME, right? That would pretty much make ME the COOLEST kid at my school!
But I’ll let you in on a secret. Getting bombed by an angry bird is NOT cool. It’s just . . . NASTY!!
TV, comic books, and movies make all this superhero stuff look SO easy. But it ISN’T! So don’t believe the HYPE.
You CAN’T get superpowers by hanging out in a laboratory, mixing up colorful, glowing liquids that you simply DRINK. . . .
ME, MIXING UP A YUMMY SUPERPOWER SMOOTHIE
HOW do I know it doesn’t work? . . .
Let me put it this way. . . .
Even if I DID have superpowers, the very first person I’d need to rescue is . . .
Because a guy at school pulled a lousy PRANK on me.
And, unfortunately, I might be DEAD by the time you read this!
Yes, I said “DEAD.”
Okay, I’ll admit that he didn’t MEAN to kill me.
But still . . . !!
So if you’re the type who gets FREAKED OUT over this kind of stuff (or comic book cliffhangers), you probably shouldn’t read my journal. . . .
Um . . . excuse me, but are you STILL reading?!
Okay, fine! Go right ahead.
Just don’t say I didn’t warn you!